If you think handling your kids and taking care of their needs as a child is tough and that they will grow out of it as they become teenagers, then you are wrong. Children become more difficult to handle as they enter their teenage years.
As a parent with teenagers at home, you would have come across teens giving ignorant answers, slamming doors in the face, walking away in a huff, and other difficult behaviours. Parents would be confused about how to deal with such angry teenagers and how to calm them down. This period is a rebellious one for teens and they tend to question anything that is said to them. You would have across such rebellious questions and behaviour with the teens in your house.
So, you should be aware of how to deal with rebellious teenagers. The key is to think from their shoes and instead of fighting them back, you should walk along with them.
If you’re a parent struggling to handle your teenager and are looking for positive reinforcement tips to handle them, then look no further. In this article, we have put together 20 tips to deal with teenagers
- Accept your teen for what he/she is
You would want the best for your teenager but do not impose perfection on your teen. Understand that no one is perfect and accept your teen for what he/she is. Teenage is when you should let your teen be themselves rather than impose stuff on them. Such behaviour will only cause resentment and handling them will turn more difficult.
- Avoid sarcasm
Sarcasm would seem funny at the moment to you, but from the perspective of your teenager, when you are sarcastic, they assume that you are making fun of them. Using sarcasm will affect the relationship you have with your teenager. So, it is smart to avoid sarcasm while conversing with your teenager.
- Show them you care
As a parent, you would be involved in protecting and caring for your teenager. But your rebellious teen would not be aware of your intentions. Make it known that you would want the best for them and nothing else.
- Appreciate them
With rebellious teens, you will have to tell them off at time. You might come off as unpleasant parents too. But you can always correct this. When your teen helps out at home with simple chores such as carrying the bags inside or brings you a glass of water, thank them. These little moments of appreciation will show them that you are grateful for their presence.
- Set behaviour boundaries
There would be many behaviours of your teenager that would disappoint you. But, reacting to each of them would only harm the rapport you have with your teenager. So, it is essential to pick your battles. Choose which behaviours are totally unacceptable and which can be tolerated.
- Have conversations outside your home
Try to have conversations with your teen in coffee shop or restaurant outside. Your teen might feel that you are coming on too strongly if you have a difficult talk inside the house. But, outside in a common setting, they would be open to listening and might even accept constructive criticism.
- Take one step at a time
Do not dump all the issues that displeases you on your teenager at one go. Focus on one thing at a time and take it slow. When you don’t, you are simply giving them space to rebel and disappoint you more.
- Start small
Your teen may rebel for everything, from small to big. To tackle this, do not start with the complex problems. Start with the smaller problems that you do not approve of, make them understand and then take a break. Then, you can go ahead and tackle the bigger problems.
- Do not judge them right away
Teens do not like you nagging them or judging them for what they do. It is natural for teenagers to behave the way they are. So, as a parent you would need to understand that and act accordingly. Do not judge them saying – ‘you always’ or ‘you never’. This will only upset them more.
- Understand your teen
Rather than rolling out solutions for your teenager when they come to you with a problem, listen and hear them out. They do not prefer being told what to do and it is best for their growth if they figure out solutions on your own. As a parent, you are performing well if you actively listen to what your teenager has to say.
- Share your feelings with your teenager
You cannot expect your teen to share their feelings with you. That is not how teenagers work. But you can always speak out about your feelings. When you do this, you are making them aware that you are either happy or sad or disappointed by their behaviour. This will be an example for them to bring their emotions forward.
- Refrain from lectures
When you are disappointed with your child’s behaviour, it is natural for a parent to tell them off or lecture them. But it is a wise move to avoid that temptation. Teens do not like lectures and just for that sake, they would refuse to accept the mistake they have done. Understand why they have done what they have done and then act accordingly.
- Avoid harsh punishments
Teenagers would be more enraged with harsh punishments. Do not impose physical or emotional abuse. Such harsh punishments will only make them want to rebel more and you will end up disappointed again.
- Set rules with logic
Teens do not like to follow rules. So, when you set rules or a curfew, take the time to explain to your teenager why you have set this rule and the rationale behind it. This will soften the moment and your teenager would consider following the rules.
- Spend time together
Both your teenager and you need a break from the routine work. Instead of spending a Sunday at home, spend the day outside with your teen. Go shopping together, try out activities like fishing and swimming together.
- Do nice things for them
On any random day, gift them something nice. This will show them you care and make them feel loved. Write them short notes, buy them the game they have been looking at, pack them their favourite lunch, etc.
- Change does not happen in a day
Handling your teenager and expecting them to change will not happen overnight. It is a continuous process and will take time. It will take months to see results, so do not stop with your efforts if you do not see any change in a day or two.
- Give them some space
Teenage is a phase where teens face a lot of changes and come across many views. There would be lots of confusion going on for them. They are transitioning into adulthood and they would need space to unwind. Understand this and give them the space they require.
- Set an example
You want your teenager to behave in a certain way. Then, you would need to set an example for them to learn from. Its important that you model the behaviour you want your teen to follow.
- Avoid anger
Last, but not the least, do not show your anger when you are speaking with your teen. And, if your teenager starts to throw a tantrum, stop the conversation and continue at a later stage.
In conclusion, the teenage phase is a pretty fragile one and you need to be careful on how you approach it. These tips cannot be implemented at once, so just keep them all in mind and follow them as and when the situation demands it.
Happy parenting!
